𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐦, 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐃 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭, 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲.
I’ve been thereI hear from so many woman telling me:
– I am just so busy- I can’t exercise
– I like my “insert food/drink” too much
– I need to tend to my children / cat / household / run a business..
Trust me, I have been there. I was always the busiest person around – the overachiever in me crying for approval and love never allowed me to have free time to “read a book”. As a child I was never free to make my own decisions, my time wasn’t my own. So when I turned 18, moved away and started living my own own life, I started learning – for the first time ever – what I actually want to do with my life and who I actually want to become. I partied a lot, drank a lot of alcohol, ate a lot of junk and could not see a future where I would be calm, happy and content without all these things in my life.
𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞. I was suddenly responsible for a living being that wasn’t just a fish! I became a role model!
How will I, a messed up girl with so many issues, who can’t take care of herself, be able to take care of a baby and be responsible for her to grow into a functioning adult?? GEEEEEEZ, talking about pressure!I was a single mum, a full time PhD student, a part time scientist, with no support, in a foreign country.
𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞
How did I get over it?I DECIDED this was not a life I wanted to live. Sounds cheesy eh? Yep, totes! But with every subsequent decision I made, I took a step closer to my goal. I am accountable to myself and my daughter.
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 – 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓
When will it be enough for you? When will you decide?
𝐌𝐲 𝟗𝟎 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐁.𝐀.𝐃. 𝐦𝐮𝐦 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 – 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭